Monday, December 31, 2018

A Ton of Bricks

I am learning a lesson which I never wanted to learn
It hit me like a sack of bricks.
Breaking my heart as it pounds.

When people wrong others,
They will wrong you too,
know they won't change.

I always wanted to believe people can change for the good.
I wanted to believe there was good in all people.
I wanted to believe the apologizes.
I wanted to believe the vows of friendship.

All lies.

I had something they wanted,
so for that time, I was their friend,
or what they think a friend is

When I have nothing to offer but my friendship,
they were gone.
And I am left broken hearted
and cursing myself for trusting them.

Feeling myself crumble under the bricks
Tears are all dried up now
It hit me like a ton of bricks

I never saw it coming.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Hold on?

Hold on tight, no matter how lousy you feel
Cry if you want, but don’t give up.
It burns and your miserable but you keep fighting

Hold on tight, but no one cares
Scream out loud, but no one cheers
It scorches your soul but you keep fighting

Rotten and moldy, frail and rancid,
but why do you still hold on?
Why do you hold on to rotten dreams,
Broken promises, and lies of devotion

Let go of those rats, the tricksters, and deceivers
Take charge of your life, move on and be happy
Turn away from those who wish you harm,
They seek to damage and berate you.

Take charge of your life, hold on to those
Who are true and just, pure, and honorable
Hold onto tight to those who cheer you on
No matter the costs, they will be there
Hold on tight to those lift you up who you to succeed

Hold on to them, and let go of the rest.   

Do we expect too much?

Image may contain: one or more people

I wrote this poem a while ago, but it still rings true. What do you expect
from your friends and are we expecting too much? Do you give your friends what
you expect from them?  I am asking myself these same questions.

Was it all a lie?
The things you said
And the things you did?

Wasted phone calls and texts
Wasted tears, wasted time

Vulnerable, trusting, naïve
Sensitive, exposed, defenseless
Heartache, bitterness, and sadness

Trust no one
Shall I live my life with distrust

Self-doubt and uncertainty

How do you overcome when
All I knew was deception.

Hide myself and block out the world
Rise above and let in the world

How to do you let in the world?
And let in more lies, hate, and deceit.

Hold onto to what you know,
What did you know?

When friendship was a lie

Friday, December 21, 2018

Red Balloon

Most people who know me, know that I am afraid of clowns. Of course, this leads to them saying things like, "They all float down here," or "Hey Georgie!"  And one of my favorites, red balloons popping up all over the place.

 As anyone who has seen the movie IT or read the book will know Pennywise most times has a red balloon or there is a red balloon shows up when he is near. 
One of my middle school students gave me a Christmas present. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Monday, December 17, 2018

Thou Shalt Weep No More

Battered, Bleeding, and bruised
My spirit sags as it weeps but
No more
Distressed, lacerated, and mauled
I lay on the floor but
I weep no more

No more shall I weep
No more shall I mourn
A friendship that rots away
As it decays my the promise
Thou Shalt Weep No more

I gave you hope, I gave you trust
Now you scamper off like the
Rat you have proven to be
The cankerous promises
The corrosive lies of
Friendship and devotion

No more shall I weep
No more shall I mourn
A friendship that rots away
As it decays my heart
Thou shalt weep no more

Innocent, pure and unadulterated
Friendship tossed away
As it festers into nothingness.

No more shall I weep
No more shall I mourn
A friendship that rots away
As it decays my heart
Thou Shalt Weep no more

I am free from those
Burdens that lock us in place
I never again will fall prey
To those whose corrode the purity of friendship

No more shall I weep
No more shall I mourn
A friendship that rots away
As it decays my heart
Thou Shalt Weep No more

Saturday, December 15, 2018

And I ask Why?

The storm rages on
Though my heart it bleeds
A burst of passion in my soul
As the winds rage on

A squall’s wrath makes the windows shake
The night sky electrifies
By the blast of the light

And I sit inside
Wondering why
I hear the rain
As it taps, the wind as it howls and still
I ask why

The illumination of the sky
And I ask myself why

The rains pour down, the thunder explodes
And I ask why

I ask why

I am Fine

I was fine when you hurt me.
I was fine when you left
I was fine when you said I was the best.

I was fine when you came back
And I say I am fine when you
Left again.

For I always knew the time would come.
So I lie, and I say I am Fine.

I am fine.

Check out my book on Kindle and Paperback!

 Check out my book on Kindle and Paperback! 
I always wanted to be a mom. After my miscarriage, I thought it would never happen. God had a wonderful plan for my life. I just have to wait and put my faith in Him. Many women suffer the tremendous loss of a miscarriage. They often believe they are alone, but they are never alone. Rest assured that it is not anyone’s fault! It is simply a sad component of life. In every four pregnancies, one ends in a miscarriage. I am sharing my story to help other women who have experienced the same pain I have.

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